Unanticipated Details

2 min readSep 19, 2022

So you want to transition? You see yourself as a Trans woman and you’re contemplating coming out? Brava! But, take it from me, there may be more to transitioning than you ever imagined.

Like what? You might ask? Like, how good are you at nurturing? Are you a natural with babies? What if your partner is sick and needs some TLC? Or what if your stepdaughter or granddaughter, niece, or young female relative needs help with girl things? Simple braids? How are you at sewing or cooking?

These all might seem hugely sexist ideas, but depending on your age and how well you pass, you might find yourself expected to know a few of these skills.

Are you great with details? Can you multitask? How fastidious are you? Do you make sure you have your hair in order and your clothes and teeth are clean? Are you interested in getting your nails done at least once a month at $100 a pop? Have you ever been to a nail salon? A hair salon? Both have an unspoken protocol that may catch you off-guard if you haven’t.

Once again, I’m not saying these are necessarily female traits, but I’ve found a million and one unanticipated details that I never considered before transition.

You will be living 100% of the time as your chosen gender. If you win the lottery and “pass” your peers will be women. They will have lived whole lives up until whatever age as women. You will be the one with catching up to do.

Being a Trans woman is a special category. If you decide to be out about it, perhaps you will be cut a little slack, but like it or not, there will be details about living as a woman that you may not have anticipated. Some of them might even feel a bit overwhelming.

Then there’s the aging thing. Trying to keep up appearances as we get older is no picnic and it certainly ain’t cheap. Be prepared when you cross that boundary. You will be judged to a large extent by how you look.

I could blow smoke up your you know what, but then there's enough fantasy thinking going on out there already. The brass tacks are that it’s not all party dresses, high-heels, cocktails, and dancing. Everyone doesn’t smile and tell you how beautiful you look all the time.

With all of that said, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.




Genivieve is a Transgender Artist living in Santa Barbara California.