After my transition and the thrill of finally arriving at my appropriate gender, some of the less subtle aspects of this journey have begun to reveal themselves. Transitioning genders has allowed me to migrate my consciousness from what may be considered one body with its associated experiences to another. That awareness has caused me to ponder the nature of consciousness and existence and form what may be called an informal theory about their relationship.
Although I always knew myself to have a female spirit, out of necessity I had to make peace and even embrace the male body I came into this world with. Some Trans women regret the time they lived as a male, but now, I have grown to appreciate many of the experiences and the perspective my male body gave me. There is something to be said for the freedom and power of the male experience. To have the options and capabilities that come with it is something I find even more fascinating now that they’re largely gone.
Since my transition a decade ago I have been able to see my former life from the perspective of an entirely different person. It’s as female now and of course, that of a more mature person. I look back on my former male life as if it belonged to someone else. So much has changed in my daily life and in how others interact with me, that it would take far too long to innumerate here. Suffice to say, it’s been a substantial shift.
So what have I taken away from this dramatic transition in experience and life? I’ve learned that our consciousness evolves according to our body and the expectations of ourselves and those around us. Our consciousness asks the same questions of each body. “What does this body require and what behaviors are expected of us with it?” In addition, what new awarenesses do these new expectations and behaviors create in our consciousness and influence its future direction?
This shift in perspective has allowed me to view the world and the other living things in it differently. I understand that each living thing has what could be described as an existence with an associated consciousness. Some more capable of witnessing the larger world due to a more complex brain and more evolved nervous system. I have begun to imagine that each consciousness can only evolve towards the goals it is able to perceive. In other words, its future potential is limited by its ability to imagine the next step. What are the immediate influences and needs associated with the organism’s current reality? How would it like them to be different? Each organism can only evolve as far as its ability to envision the next leap forward.
Eugenics is perhaps the model that most resembles my new perception. One might think of consciousness as changing or expressing itself much as our DNA does according to our environment. In Eugenics, genes or behaviors turn on and off based on environmental stimulation. Perhaps our consciousness evolves similarly?
As I said this is my own pet theory based on my own experience. I certainly wouldn’t brand it as science, but more as a potential road for personal exploration. One has to envision the next step before their consciousness can evolve there. You have to feel the necessity and expectations of your new reality in order for your consciousness to become what it has imagined. I feel extremely fortunate to have had the opportunity to experience this life as two separate realities. Who knows what happens when we leave this reality altogether? What influences our consciousness then? Perhaps it’s only as limited as our ability to imagine it.