I’m a Trans woman who has had all of the negative dating experiences you describe. Magical thinking about the universe and “man” -ifesting my partner didn’t either.

I don’t believe a cisgender person really knows the feeling of meeting someone, having real chemistry and then having them run away after you come out to them. A hundred times. Cisgender women are often fetishized, but Transwomen are treated like an alien sex creature. You really have zero idea, and I say this in the kindest way.

I found my partner through some luck and simple diligence. I formed a strategy and kept at it until I found someone who “saw” me, not the label. The other parts of the equation are working on yourself and being happy with who you are. Men are initially visual creatures and a grounded understanding of that reality helps too.