I feel exactly the same way. It’s hard to fight those daily battles, and it’s harder to watch my loved ones get caught in them too. I suppose this is how the right forces us back into the closet. It’s safer for everyone involved for us to just be quiet.
I went through a big break up with an out Lesbian partner a few years back. We were a local LGBTQ force and very visible. After our break up, I moved to a small town and just needed to heal. Since no one knew me, I went stealth in my new town. I made some Lesbian friends, but they balked when I told them I was Trans. That pretty much did it for me. I decided to just live without flying the flag ever since.